We both came home, discussed our accomplishments of the morning, showered, and then we all headed to lunch. After lunch we came home and watched some TV, then we all went and watched Transformers. Not a very romantic anniversary as others see it, but for us, spending time with our family and hanging out being "real" IS our life and we love it. We also love time just us, together, so we made time on Sunday after Church for our "B" date.
"B"... Let's see it was a Buddy Date: "Balling and Beverages" Okay, so in English... We went with another couple (Buddies), our sister from another mister and brother from another mother. lol, We went golfing (balling). She and I caddied for our husbands and walked. Now, I ran a 10K on Friday, Walked a 10K as a caddy on Saturday, and now it was Sunday and again, I was a caddy walking another 10K. It felt good to get some miles under my feet, to walk next to my husband, cheer him on, encourage him, talk him through some shots I "thought" looked good. I was actively engaged in my husband's favorite past time and release stress. I kept score even. He offered for me to hit a few, but I gracefully declined. We spent 4 hours together just walking, talking, laughing, reminiscing. No talk of kids, work, politics, nothing. Just us being out there flirting and being silly.
It's only date "B", but it so much more then that. We are communicating again, we are being silly, having fun, and letting go. We are having great discussions on faith and how we are growing, where we are going. We are making time for just us, something I think gets lost in so many marriages. I think "feminism" has destroyed households. I think as woman we forget that we have a spouse who is equally important to our families. I think we've lost sight of who we are and our importance that we neglect to nourish the souls and hearts of our husbands. We've been told "It's all about us and making us happy" that we've devalued men and in turn have hurt the family unit. There is a balance and we need to learn to regain it. We need to equally love our husbands. "Happy wife, Happy life" ticks me off... That is such a condescending, devaluing, lonely, and entitled phrase. How about "Engaged loving marriage, happy life!"?
I'm a stay at home mom and while in my head, I want to don the heels, hair skillfully put in place, apron matching my dress, music in the background, and pulling dinner out of the oven as he walks in the door, my life is not like that. I want that, there is something special about being that woman, that mother that breathes life into her family, but it's not realistic in my everyday. I am learning to make time to start to learn about canning, making my own detergent, deodorant, clean eating, etc. My heart wants to live with many acres and be a pioneer woman, but the city I live it makes that impossible and moving is not an option (right now, I keep suggesting it), I want a dozen children (That is a definite NO! lol), I want chickens and a cow. lol, But right now, where I am... Is pure JOY, I choose that joy.
Dinner is usually ready when he comes home at 5, I make a point to ask about his day, this sometimes means that when daddy gets home, the kids have to play away from us or sit and listen as we converse about HIS day, NOT my complaints. BUT we all know that usually mom gets called or that's when the phone starts ringing, life gets hectic at 5! So, making time for us to get away for a bit of time and just be us feels good. It's been good for our marriage, it's been good for us raising our children, to see healthy, loving, respectful relationship between moms and dads. It makes him feel special, it makes me feel special and together it makes us more energized.
It IS possible to have young children at home and still make time for your spouse. It can be a date night where you lock yourselves in your room (so you are nearby in case of that one emergency) and you hire a sitter to host a camp out in the kids bedroom (where they stay all night)... And you have a bubble bath and watch a netflix movie and talk, Go to a movie that you can't watch with the kids around. Take a walk alone and look at the house in your neighborhood, Get in the car and go look at houses for sale... We do this because we like to window shop. You don't have to spend money to spend quality, crazy, fun, silly time together. This time is to relax and just remember the joy and fun of your spouse. Be creative, have a picnic, meet for coffee/lunch, but most importantly, forget that you are adults just for a little while, forget the world and all the things you need to get done.
You will have so much fun and be happier for it.
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